What James Saw
by ServalSpirit
Summary: James and his friends spy on Lily and discover something interesting.... WARNING: Spoilers for seventh book.
1. Lily and Snivellus

**Special thanks to Icetail**

James Potter slunk past the greenhouses and beckoned to his three friends.

"Come on," he hissed. "The coast is clear!"

"Aw, James, do we really have to go?" whined his best friend, Sirius Black. "My feet hurt, and we've been out all day. Can we pleeeaaase go back to the common room? Please?"

"Shhh. We're almost there."

"You said that ten minutes ago!" wailed Sirius.

"Shh," said James again. "I promise this will be good. You didn't see how mad she was this morning. Now be quiet!"

They crept from tree to tree, until finally Remus Lupin said, "James, Sirius is right. You had us out all morning practicing quidditch, then all afternoon on a wild goose chase after a crumple-horned snorcack, and now you expect us to run around spying on Lily Evans? I'm leaving."

"No!" James screeched. "I mean no, you can't," he whispered. "This is _Lily_ we're talking about, and _Snape_! We have to see this! Please, please! Pretty please with a cherry on top!" he begged. Just then they heard raised voices.

"Lily! I'm sorry!" Severus Snape was saying.

"You should have thought of that earlier, then, shouldn't you." said Lily, striding away.

"No! Lily, please! Listen to me!"

James was looking as though Christmas had come early. "Do you-"

"Shh!" Remus quickly cast a silencing charm on all of them.

"Do you hear them?" yelled James. "She hates him! This is great!"

"What, Snape?" shouted Lily, sounding suddenly impatient. "I heard what you said! Everyone did! And now you expect me to come crawling back to you? You called me a mudblood!"

Peter screamed. "She- she said the m-word!" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry Lily! I shouldn't have said it!" said Snape desperately.

"Well, you did," said Lily shortly.

"I didn't mean it! I- I love you!"

There was complete silence. James had his mouth wide open and looked as though the world had come to and end.

"He... _loves_ her?" he said in disbelief. "How can he love her?" he continued a little louder, sounding more and more indignant. "_I_ love her!" Remus, too looked shocked. Sirius just yawned.

"Geez, you'd think we were watching a soap opera!"

"What's a soap opera?" asked Remus, curiously.

Peter had conjured up some popcorn and was sitting on the grass, leaning forward eagerly and drooling slightly.

They all turned back to Lily and Snape. To James's horror, Snape leaned forward and kissed her. "How could he!" yelled James. "That bastard! Wait till I get my hands on him-" he started forward, but Remus grabbed the back of his robes.

"Stop!" he hissed. "Do you think she'd be pleased to find out that you've been spying on her?"

But James was no longer paying attention. He was watching, enraptured, as Lily pulled away and slapped Snape across the cheek. James started doing a jig.

"Yes! She slapped him, she slapped him!" sang James. "She doesn't like him! She'll never talk to him again! She'll marry me!"

"Whoa, Prongs mate, slow down." said Sirius. "Moving way too fast there."

Lily watched Snape as he slowly brought a hand to his cheek where she had slapped him. He was gazing into her eyes with a hurt look on his face, and she looked suddenly very sorry.

"Look, Sev," she said. "I'm really sorry, but I just... don't feel that way about you." He nodded, still looking forlorn.

"It's all right," he said, trying to sound as though nothing had happened. "Just.. would you mind not mentioning it to anyone? I'd hate for someone like _Potter_, " he spat the name, "to find out."

James laughed. "Too right you would, Snivellus!"

"No, James," said Remus. "You can't tell him that you were spying, remember? He'd think Lily had told you."

"And what's wrong with that?" asked James obnoxiously.

"She'll know you were spying too, you prat."

"Oh yeah."

**To be continued**


	2. Q Captain

**Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, everyone, and thank you to every person who reviewed! Now, on to the second chapter...**

"Watch where you're going, Potter."

James looked up from the piece of paper he was holding up to his nose and snickered as he saw Snape go flying.

"Sorry, Sniv." He smirked as Snape reached for his wand. James had his own wand out and Snape immobilized before he could have said "Quidditch". Speaking of which... He raised his paper up to eye level again and continued on, reading. According to this paper, and he almost didn't dare believe it, Smith was retiring as Quidditch captain and he, James, had been chosen to replace him! He grinned.

"James!" called a voice, breaking out of his daydream. It was a shame, too, he thought sadly. It had been a nice daydream, involving Lily's admiring face when she found out that he was Quidditch captain. She had hugged him and told him that she had always liked him, and that Snape had been poisoning her mind. He had patted her back sympathetically and looked over her shoulder to see Snape curled up on the ground sobbing. "James!" called the voice again. He turned around, annoyed, and saw Sirius hurrying up to him.

"What do you want, Sirius?" he asked, unable to keep the slight resentment out of his voice.

"I wanted to know where you were," said Sirius.

"Is that all?!"

"Yes. I was bored." he said, as though explaining the obvious. "Sooo... what are you reading?"

"A note," James muttered.

"Who's it from?"

"A student."

"What student?"

"Smith."

"Smith, the Q captain?"

"Yes."

"What did he want?"

"SIRIUS!" James bellowed. " SHUT UP!"

Sirius looked exceedingly offended. "Geez," he huffed. "There was no need to shout."

James rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Sooo... what did he want?"

James turned around, his eyes glinting dangerously. There was a long pause, and then he said," I've been made Quidditch captain."

"You've WHAT?" shrieked Sirius, causing everyone in the hall to stare at them. "You've been made _Q CAPTAIN_?!"

James nodded and then, seeing that they had everyone's attention, spread his arms wide and shouted, "That's right, people, THE James Potter, best chaser the school has ever seen, heart throb of the entire female population of Hogwarts, maker of the best grades of Transfiguration, and best-looking guy in the school-"

"Second best," hissed Sirius, elbowing him in the ribs.

James ignored him and continued, "has been made Quidditch captain of Gryffindor team!" There was a moment of silence, and he added," Please go back to doing what ever you were doing."

As though awakened from a spell, the girls all started screaming and cheering. When it became clear that they were going to swarm, James took one look at Sirius and muttered, out of the corner of his mouth, "Run." And then they both took off.

They scrambled into the boy's dormitories exactly one minute and forty-nine seconds later, thanks to all of their secret shortcuts. They skidded to a stop, and slammed the door shut, knowing that the Gryffindor girls would soon invade. Remus slid off his bed and frowned at them. "What on Earth have you two done this time?" he asked, looking poised to give them his "dissaproving stare".

"It was his fault!" yelled Sirius immediately, pointing at James. "He set the girls after us!"

"Well, if you wouldn't have yelled it to the whole corridor to hear, I wouldn't have felt the need to... clarify!"

"Yeah, well, if you-"

"That's enough!" screeched Remus. "What exactly happened? Tell me one at a time, _slowly_."

"I've been made Quidditch captain!" said James gleefully. "Can you imagine the look on Snivvy's face when he finds out?"

Both he and Sirius started to guffaw stupidly. "I hadn't even thought of that," said Sirius, grinning. "Shall we go find him and give him the news?"

Remus sighed as they continued to talk loudly. His head really did hurt.

"First his Lilykins rejecting him, now you being made Quidditch captain! We should prank him and put the final touches on his misery!" They high-fived each other.

"Want to come, Moony?" asked James.

"No, thank you."

"Pete?"

Peter had been watching them in awe as they recounted their "chilling tale" and now fell off the bed in shock as they addressed him.

"C-can I r-really come?" he stuttered.

James frowned at Sirius, who was looking at Peter in amusement, and then nodded. "Sure, Pete, why not?"

**Author's Note: Well, I hope you all liked the second chapter as much as the first (if you liked the first) ! Please review, and I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. (No, that's not a threat!) :)**

**-ServalSpirit**


	3. Snape's Song

James and Sirius collapsed, holding their sides and shaking with laughter, as soon as they stepped into the dormitory. Peter looked at them rolling around on the floor and immediately dropped down as well, giggling. "That was great!" gasped Sirius.

"It will be," corrected James, wiping his eyes. "It'll be the best prank of the century!"

"I can't wait!" they crowed in unison.

"Why?" asked Remus, sitting on his bed with a thick book. "What have you done?"

James and Sirius looked at each other and burst out laughing again. "You'll see!" said James. "Tonight at dinner; it'll be great!"

Remus sighed. "I'm afraid to ask."

"Don't bother," said Sirius. "We're not going to tell you. You'll just have to wait and see at dinner."

Just then the bell rang. "Let's get this over with," said Remus, looking resigned.

"Gee, Moony, don't look too excited," said James sarcastically. "It might hurt."

Remus huffed. "I like a good prank as well as the next person," he said, annoyed. "I _am_ a Marauder, after all. I just think you ought to be a little more-" He stopped when he saw James and Sirius rolling their eyes at each other. "Oh, forget it," he said, striding to the door and flinging it open. "Let's just go."

They walked down to the Great Hall (or, in Sirius and James's case, bounced) and sat down next to Lily Evans at the Gryffindor table.

"Hi, Evans," said James, flashing her a cocky grin. He ruffled his hair up and grinned at her. "Having a good day so far?"

"What is that supposed to mean, Potter?" she snapped, glaring at him.

"Oh, nothing," said James. His hand jumped to his hair once more. "But now that you mention it, I hope your little slimeball of a friend, Sniv- I mean Snape- is doing all right."

"Potter!" she yelled, standing up in annoyance and sending her glass of pumpkin juice flying. "What have you done to him now?" Her nostrils were flared and she was breathing heavily. All in all, James thought she would have looked quite menacing, if her anger didn't make her look even more beautiful than she usually looked.

"Oh, Evans," he breathed, gazing up at her. "You look gorgeous today, has anyone told you? Your hair is like a fiery halo of molten lava surrounding your perfect head. Your eyes are like the brightest blade of grass under the hot summer sun, the very same shade as that hiccough potion that Slughorn made us do yesterday. In fact, I would say that-"

Beside him, Sirius was snorting with laughter, while Remus looked like he was trying to keep back a grin, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

"Potter! Leave me alone!" She stormed off to sit with a friend from arithmancy, farther up the table.

"You know, Prongs," said Remus carefully, clearly amused. "Maybe you should take the hint and, you know, back off a bit."

"Back off?" cried James passionately. "_Back off?_ She loves me! Isn't it obvious? Isn't it obvious that she's just playing hard to get? How could you even suggest that I _back off_? It would break her heart! And mine!"

Sirius fell off his seat, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. "I think what Moony was trying to say, Prongs, is that... well... she doesn't like you," he said bluntly.

"What?!"

"Hey, you guys!" squeaked Peter suddenly. "Be quiet, it's starting!"

Sirius looked for a moment as though he was going to protest being told to be quiet, but then saw that the food had appeared on the tables. "Excellent," he said, smirking. "Just excellent."

The four watched eagerly, or in Remus's case anxiously, as Snape loaded his plate with meat and fried mushrooms. He talked with Rosier as he ate, and didn't notice when Sirius carefully pointed his wand at him and whispered an incantation.

"It's linked with the food," muttered James to Remus. "We got the house-elves to put something in the Slytherin chicken wings, and the spell activates it."

Remus nodded in understanding, not taking his eyes off Snape, who was still chewing away. Suddenly the Slytherin stood up, a strange expression on his face. The Marauders watched as Rosier frowned and said something. Snape paid no him no attention, however, and instead proceeded to climb up onto the table, standing between dishes. With a sudden pop, his black school robes were replaced by a long, sky-blue gown, complete with lace cuffs and silver embroidery on the edges. His hair was suddenly up in an elegant knot on the top of his head, a few wisps framing his face, and a huge silver tiara completing the picture of a crown princess. There was bold red lipstick smeared messily on his mouth, and dark blue eye-liner surrounding his cold, black eyes. His normally sallow cheeks were now covered with an extraordinarily thick layer of pink blush.

The students all stared at Snape, some shocked but most amused, and burst out laughing when a large mole suddenly appeared on the tip of his nose. He scowled upon hearing the laughter, and crossed his eyes to see the mole. He reached a hand up to touch it and the students could see clearly how his nails were painted bright, garish red.

"Now!" whispered James.

Sirius grinned and pointed his wand at Snape again. With a flourish, the Slytherin spread his arms wide and beamed around at everyone. When Sirius flicked his wand, Snape opened his mouth and started to sing.

"Argh!" moaned James, covering his ears. "Why did we have to make him _sing_, for crying out loud? He has got to have the worst voice I have ever heard in my entire life! Including my great-grandmother, Cecilia!"

And it was true. Snape sang in a a loud, operatic voice, but it was riddled with cracks and scratches, and sounded completely out of tune. James cringed as Snape reached a particularly high note, but sat up eagerly when he started adding words.

"The Marauders, the Marauders! They're the smartest in the school!" he sang. "First there's Potter, I mean James! He's the greatest, you've got to say it! On the field he swoops and twirls, making daring dives and spins! On a broom he is the the best; he's a cut above the rest!

"Then there's Sirius Not-a-Black, the most dashing of the group! His good looks and starry eyes have girls swooning at his feet! Brave and noble, he's the guy, the brightest star in the whole sky!"

"What did you do?" hissed Lily, poking James in the side.

"Ouch! What did you do that for? And I thought you weren't talking to us?"

"You are insufferable!" She spat each word venomously. "Why do you have to pick on people?"

"I don't," said James, looking surprised.

"Yeah, Evans," said Sirius. "Snivellus isn't a person, he's a _slimeball_."

"Argh!" She stormed away again.

"Darn," muttered Sirius. "We missed the end of the song." Indeed, Snape was taking a bow, flourishing his arms exaggeratedly. He climbed off the table, smiling proudly and happily, when suddenly his face took on a look of pure horror.

Evidently, Professor Dumbledore did not not notice, for stood up, beaming. "Thank you, Mr. Snape, for that lovely bit of opera. Fine music, it is. I've always said-" Professor McGonagal cleared her throat loudly.

"Potter! Black! I will expect you in detention on Friday evening, in my office. Good night." She sat back down.

James and Sirius turned to look at each other, shrugged, and burst into identical grins. "Did you see his face?" they exclaimed together.

Remus sighed.


End file.
